Reflections on My Counselling Journey

My name is Rebecca Sherwood, I am a qualified counsellor and I am also member of the British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapists. I am wheelchair user and have Cerebral Palsy. I have wanted to become a counsellor for a very long time, from the age of ten, which shows that I have always had an interest in the subject area. I have experienced people suffering in silence and this is one of the reasons why I wanted to make a difference to people's lives.

I studied for a diploma in counselling, and have plenty of experience in working with clients directly. You can view my qualifications at: www.rebeccasherwood.co.uk   where I also have listed more information about myself. I specialise in counselling for: eating disorders, low self-esteem, and disability. I have published in the Private Practice Journal, where I discuss from beginning to the end of my training (link provided below)

In my spare time I enjoy going to debates at the Cambridge Union. I have also just finished an undergraduate course in Philosophy, at Cambridge University. Psychology is another subject which I have taken an interest in. Both Philosophy and Psychology complement my counselling, as I am also able to provide existential counselling.

www.rebeccasherwood.co.uk
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/rebecca-sherwood
http://bacppp.org.uk/_sitedata/1391515928%20Z3A0IvmuG/JournalsFromOldSite/12501_true%20colours.pdf

A New Voice Through Writing

After  trawling the internet I have noticed that there is a lack of books written by disabled people. This might be because often it is not easy to talk about disability or celebrate the positive. Of course when you have a disability it is tempting to shy away from breaking down the barrier and discussing it, but it is beneficial to both the reader and writer to talk more openly about something which impacts on our lives so significantly.

My reading taste is very eclectic and I will give any book a go, but what has been the most rewarding for me is when I have read autobiographies by people with disabilities. This is not to say I wouldn't enjoy something written by someone able-bodied, but as I am in a wheelchair myself I have been inspired by these particular kinds of autobiographies that I have read. They have given me an insight into people's ways of living which I may not have previously understood. For example, Jess Thom's "Welcome to Biscuitland" helped me to imagine what it must be like to live with Tourettes Syndrome throughout everyday life. This book gave me a new found respect for people who suffer from this, and has also given me a renewed hope that more individuals will share their stories. 

I have found in the past that most books written about living with cerebral palsy have failed to enlighten me, because the authors were fairly self-deprecating. Which is why I was so pleased when I stumbled across Francesca Martinez's "What The F*** is Normal?" In this book her character and spirit shone through, overcoming her disability. Martinez writes modestly about herself and her achievements, and doesn't allow her disability to control the narrative. It is important in these sorts of autobiographies to strike the difficult balance between enough lightheartness alongside exploring vulnerability, which she seems to do well. Books about disability should not dwell on the aspect of pity, instead they should focus on offering an insight. 

Writing is a release and a good way to carefully convey the implications with living with either a physical or mental disability. Words are powerful, as you will find in both Thom's and Martinez's books. It is a privilege to experience a person's life so closely and so deeply, through a text. It may reduce ignorance and would allow people to be better equipped to understand the situations of others. For this reason, I encourage others to share their stories, just as I intend to share mine. 

The Annual Disability lecture- Cambridge University, 2014

I attended the lecture on disability, slightly apprehensive of the way in which the lecture was going to be delivered, given that the topic of disability is such a sensitive issue. Generally disabilities and mental health are a conversational taboo because people neither understand them properly, nor want to talk about them. I was pleasantly surprised how the speaker, Dr Rachel Perkins, managed to address mental illness in a relaxed and respectful way, similar to how I am aim to when dealing with clients. What I drew from the lecture is that there seems to be three main reasons why people might choose not to accept help with a mental illness:

(i)                    They are scared of the stigma surrounding it. Unfortunately it still remains an embarrassing prospect for many people to face up to the label.  I want to dissipate the preconceptions.

(ii)                  Fear of the unknown, and fear of bothering someone, feeling unworthy of others spending time with them. Ultimately hoping it will all disappear.

(iii)                They are in denial and have failed to recognise that they are, in fact, ill.

These three reasons might be justified in the case of a patient visiting a doctor for advice, because they might be clinical in labelling a patient and prescribing certain drugs. However in a counselling scenario, there would be no form of judgment; each case would be evaluated individually. The main difference is that a counsellor has time and interest, which a typical GP might lack. Counselling is about normalising the illness, making the patient recognise that they are not the only one going through this, and that others have also overcome this. It offers a safe, non-judgmental, confidential setting. It is an alternative to taking medication, because talking helps discover new ways of finding purpose in life.

Many different things can trigger off negative thoughts and mental instability. We can’t assume that we are exempt from an illness of this kind. For example, eating disorders can develop from various life experiences, such as over-exposure to media expectations, stress, and warped body image. I specialise in counselling clients with: eating disorders, low self-esteem, and physical disabilities. Society today places an emphasis on how a ‘normal’ person should be, rather than how we want to be. But if we harbour self-defeating thoughts then we will never develop our full potential, and are always held back. Sometimes we need to seek the help of a counsellor who is impartial and willing to listen.

The concept of seeking a counsellor is becoming more accepted due to the fact that in modern day society we are faced with more issues than ever, and that we have to adapt to. We all need help at some stage in our lives, so instead of blaming ourselves or taking it out on other people, counselling acts as a coping mechanism. You will be taken seriously, no matter what size of the problem you bring to counselling sessions, because you are unique and everything affects us all in different ways.

As a wheelchair user, I have also needed to breakdown barriers within myself. I have now achieved what I set out to achieve, but this was only through acceptance of my circumstances and myself. This is why I believe that I am able to be sympathise with others going through any mental struggle.

https://secure.counselling-directory.org.uk/membersarea.php

Similarities and Differences Between Hawking's Life and Disability to Mine

On Saturday I went to see "Hawking", a biographical movie about his life and disability, and I could not help but notice certain similarities and differences between his life and my own. One of the similarities between Hawking and myself is that I like discovering new philosophical views and ideas; thinking about the big questions. However, his focus and interests mainly lie with problems of Physics such as black holes, particles and matter - while Philosophy still talks about the physical world, it approaches different problems from different angles. Another similarity is that Stephen Hawking says that there are no boundaries to endeavours, which is the way I approach my life as well. An observation I made was that he has an intellectual curiosity about the world, which makes him want to find out all that he can about the Cosmos in the limited time that he has, a curiosity made more intense due to this race against time. I can understand his wanting to focus on the big questions due to this time constraint and because of this, however small or large his discoveries are, they hold great meaning for him as part of this curiosity, a feeling which I share when it comes to satisfying my own.

After he had an unexpected fall down a set of stairs at the age of twenty, Stephen Hawking was taken to the doctor and was diagnosed with motor neurone disease, and when his family was told that he had only two years left to live, they went through a dark black hole of depression (as opposed to a light black hole). From that moment on his condition worsened, though while his body deteriorated his mind grew stronger. Even through the deterioration of the body, one can depend on the strength of the spirit remaining the same. After contracting pneumonia, he gradually lost the power to talk, now only able to talk through the use of technology which reads his eye and cheek movements. I relate this to my own experience of becoming more vocal, making the most of my voice and expressing things in the way that I want. When Stephen first learned about his disability, he had a renewed sense of determination, wanting to prove his doctors and family wrong by not letting his disability beat him without a fight, something which makes him one of the most inspiring scientists of our time.

The film is a must see as it portrays disability in a positive, uplifting way. It's a big thing to let people into your personal world, and for the first time Hawking is revealing more than just his intellectual work to the public, potentially putting him in a vulnerable position, something I wish more people had the guts to do. It was nice to see that Stephen had good banter with his carers, and you can see his good sense of humour through the way they interacted with him - this is another similarity I found between us, as I think it is important to have a sense of humour. Having a good sense of humour lightens the mood - things cannot and should not be serious all of the time. Another observation I made was that because of Stephen's situation, with many carers around him constantly he had very little time to himself away from the world, which he found hard to adapt to, but he had no choice. I know I am going to have to have carers and it will be interesting to see how I cope with this change in my everyday routine, but I mustn't deny that it will happen one day. It was a privilege to gain more insight into motor neurone disease, a disease I wanted to know more about - it might help me to gain more knowledge about friends or clients I may have in the future with this condition. It's also good to branch out and gain knowledge about disabilities in the world other than my own. Often people with disabilities hide away and don't freely share their insights, but I feel it's a very important exercise to do so regularly.


www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/rebecca-sherwood

Stimulation Through Deep Meaningful Conversations and Study

I started my counselling course five years ago and found I had to unlock painful memories and thoughts to gain the self-awareness and insights about the world. Although it was hard at the time I'm glad I went through this process because it allows me to empathize with the various people I meet in my life. I am better able to accurately respond to their concerns and anxiety due to the personal development I experienced on the course. I believe everybody should go through personal development at some point in their life; setting personal targets through introspection and developing themselves as human beings. This involves getting to know yourself by evaluating and pondering about how to make the most out of personal growth; being able to make adjustments to your behavior and thought patterns where appropriate. Through my counselling and personal development I experienced these things and found that they had a large impact on my personal transformation from beginning to end. Through determination and perseverance I am where I want to be, though I will always be working towards new challenges, both personal and professional.

From being the only wheelchair user on my course, at first I put barriers up to protect myself from the judgment of my peers, keeping within my comfort zone by doing so. During the two and a half year counselling period I went through I was able to reflect more effectively and express myself through lots of different mediums such as journal writing, speaking out loud in sessions, creative thinking and skills practice feedback. I found that week by week I was achieving goals and was more able to show who I was. I found my voice and strengthened myself mentally and through the development of my self-awareness these barriers were gradually brought down. Now I'm finished with my course I think of my wheelchair as a comfy seat, not a barrier.

For me to be stimulated fully, I found that I need to engage with more abstract and intellectual topics such as ethics, existentialism and psychology, instead of the more mundane ones that many spend their time on. That is not to say that mundane topics have no purpose; small talk serves its own purpose but it is through abstract thinking that we can understand the mundane and connect all the dots in life as it were. For example, in counselling, when building a relationship with the client, the small talk and mundane topics allow me to gain the knowledge needed to help the client. My approach as a counsellor is integrative; I adapt my work according to the client's needs. Some of my specialisms are eating disorders, disability and low self-esteem. I believe that everyone can have their own way of being, and their own mentality; it's up to them how they go about their life, but I can still observe and wonder if it's the right way.

www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/rebecca-sherwood